Deciding to move in a direction away from what has been comfortable, if not profitable, is a little daunting. It's deciding that the person that one has bought into is no longer of value. Because, really, staying in one place and representing something for so long is a way of defining one's self.
In filing my own dba, starting my own business, and hanging my own shingle, I create a new way of being. It's lonely, fulfilling, and at times, scary. There is no manual or book of SOP to follow, no boss to ask, nor coworker to consult. Essentially, it's walking on the moon, only there's no NASA, and finding my way back to the landing craft is more than just following my footsteps.
It's been two weeks, and blogging might be my only way to get it all "out there." Into a place where someone can read these thoughts and impressions, and give me feedback, is where I go. And possibly (probably?), I'll be the one providing the feedback, acting the part of caring sounding board.
Right now, sitting in front of a client, and knowing the performance is all on me is liberation and manacles in equal measure. Only the manacles feel like the chains of love, and the liberation is from a weaker method of walking and finding my way. Which really means my stride is picking up.
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